Teacher Tuesday: I Messages

I really, really try NOT to be the "do as I say, not as I do" kind of teacher (and parent)...especially since I teach health. But sometimes I just have to break the rule...like when Hy-Vee tenderloins are 2 of $5....thats quite a deal and this momma can't pass that up...everything in moderation...right? Sorry off topic:) But I really, really want to live this rule.

So we are just finishing up our social health unit (it is an exciting life I lead). And one of our final lessons is on using "I Messages."

If you don't know or need a refresher from elementary guidance, "I Messages" go a little something like this....

I feel_______________when you_______________because___________________ and I need___________________________.

It becomes quite the run on sentence...but does wonders in communicating your feelings/emotions, what is really bugging you, why it's bugging you and what you need to make things better. I will admit....previously I was not the biggest user of I Messages. I saw them as beneficial, I just hadn't taken the time to use them. Well after teaching the lesson 12 times (yes I repeat myself 12 times....I become almost robotic and I am not sure if my jokes get funnier as I go or become just plain lame) I thought to myself, Molly you need to do this more....with Tim and with the girls. I try hard to explain things to the girls, especially Ellie, but sometimes I feel like I go on and on and may become a tad bit confusing. So I gave it a try over the weekend I used them a couple times and a couple more times tonight.....and I think it really works. I felt like it really help connect my feelings, with why I was upset and what she needed to do differently. Plus it takes you a moment to collect your thoughts and put together the ginormous sentence. Which allows you a moment to calm down. The following verse is so important to relationships....I tried hard to communicate this message to my students...

“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26).”

Sometimes, I let my anger get the best of me...ya know say things in anger that I really don't mean and really don't feel. Often those things are the evil twin of I messages...the nasty You Message. Examples: You never pick up after yourself, You always make me late....these statements do not build bridges...they build walls. Walls I don't want to build. They are hurtful and untrue and too general for anyone to understand what is really bothering me.

So I am going to try really really hard to be a "do as I say, and as I do" parent. I want to consistently use I messages to communicate with my children. I want to teach them to use I Messages. You'll hold me to it right, be my cheerleader, you'll walk with me. I really want to make this change.

So here goes.....it makes me frustrated when you do not close your eyes and go to sleep at bedtime because you will be cranky in the morning and your more fun when your happy and I need you to go to sleep. (my youngest just came down stairs all upset because her older sister called the worst insult in the world....she called her a pizza! it's horrible!).